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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27396766">Julie and the Holograms</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartsick_stranger/pseuds/heartsick_stranger'>heartsick_stranger</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Julie and The Phantoms (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Except Rose - Freeform, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, but caleb is alive and making everyone's lives difficult, no ghosts</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>In-Progress</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-11-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-25</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 20:34:22</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>3</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>14,888</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27396766</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/heartsick_stranger/pseuds/heartsick_stranger</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Julie meets Reggie when they're both CITs at his younger cousins' summer camp, and later she meets Luke and Alex too, when they all come to visit him in LA. But summer ends and they have to leave, and though they all keep in touch, none of them are there when her mom passes.</p><p>A year goes by and Julie is tired, seeming to most like a ghost of her old self. She nearly loses her spot in the school's music program, and nearly loses herself along the way, but then she finds a song her mom wrote her and finds the strength to raise her voice and sing again.</p><p>With some techie guys who play with her as holograms on stage, she gets back into the music program, and starts to share her voice with the world again.</p><p>But being in all different places and being teenagers, the boys have their own problems to deal with, and all too soon they all find themselves having to face their problems head-on instead of trying to run away from them.</p><p>At least they'll have each other to lean on when that day of reckoning comes.</p><p>—</p><p>AU in which the guys are actually a hologram band and they all live in different places.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Alex &amp; Julie Molina &amp; Luke Patterson &amp; Reggie, Alex &amp; Luke Patterson &amp; Reggie (Julie and The Phantoms), Alex/Willie (Julie and The Phantoms), Carlos Molina &amp; Julie Molina &amp; Julie Molina's Mother &amp; Ray Molina, Carlos Molina &amp; Julie Molina &amp; Ray Molina, Flynn &amp; Julie Molina, Julie Molina &amp; Reggie, Julie Molina/Luke Patterson, past Flynn/Julie Molina</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>123</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>JATP Appreciation Week, Julie and the Phantoms</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Wish You Were Here</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I wrote this as a part of the JATP appreciation week that's going on on tumblr. The day 2 prompt was to write an AU, and I guess this is the first part of a multi-chapter series.</p><p>Reggie lives somewhere in Canada (haven't decided yet), Alex is in Amsterdam or Rome or something (probably Rome but idk yet), and Luke's family moves a lot so. yeah. All the lifers of the JATP canon still live in LA!</p><p>Julie's contact names for the boys:<br/>Alex- Alexander the Great<br/>Luke- Luke Skywalker<br/>Reggie- Elton John (because Elton John was born as Reginald Kenneth Dwight and Reggie's full first name is Reginald and I think I'm clever apparently) </p><p>Uhhh there's probably something else I'm forgetting to mention but I'm already posting this over a day late so here we go!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It’s not Reggie’s first time in the United States, or his first time in Los Angeles, but this time is definitely more memorable.</p><p> </p><p>It’s not because he’s older or because he’s glad that summer break has come or even because he’s not coming with his parents this time (though that’s certainly a plus side). Reggie comes to LA for the second time, meeting his cousins for what must only be the fourth or fifth time ever, and he stays with them for the summer.</p><p> </p><p>One term he’d agreed to, when his aunt and uncle offered that he could stay at their house for the summer, was that he would help out at Maggie and Joanie’s summer camp. It’s a three week summer camp, but at least he’s helping with the music classes.</p><p> </p><p>He has to come on the Friday before the camp starts for a counselor and CIT orientation. He’s just turned 16 and hasn’t even applied for his driver’s license back home, but he would still need his aunt to drive him anyway.</p><p> </p><p>His Aunt Evelyn, his dad’s younger sister by a year or two, looks like she could be at least a decade younger than his dad. His dad’s hair has gone from dark brown to ashy gray to white in the past few years, but his aunt’s hair is still dark brown and she doesn’t have the same wrinkles and frown lines that his dad now has. She seems so much happier than both his parents— she and her husband Nathaniel and their two daughters all do— and their household has such happier energy that Reggie sometimes wonders how they’re related.</p><p> </p><p>Reggie waits for his aunt in the car, picking at a loose thread on his jeans. They’re going to be a bit early if they leave now, since it’s only a fifteen minute drive and there’s almost forty-five minutes until he has to be there, but his aunt has an appointment and he’s okay with being early.</p><p> </p><p>After six minutes, Evelyn gets into the car and buckles her seatbelt, glancing at him with raised eyebrows. “Are you nervous?”</p><p> </p><p>He shrugs. “It’s just orientation,”</p><p> </p><p>She nods, “But you won’t know anyone.” Evelyn starts reversing out of the driveway, and then suddenly stops and turns to him. “Wait, your bass is in the back, right?”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s in the row right behind us, yeah,”</p><p> </p><p>She frowns, furrowing her eyebrows in a way that reminds him of how his dad looks when he gets angry, and he prepares to get yelled at for no reason. “Well I hope Julie doesn’t mind,”</p><p> </p><p>He searches his brain and can’t remember his aunt or uncle mentioning anyone named Julie. “Who?”</p><p> </p><p>“You remember Maggie’s friend Carlos?” He nods. Carlos had come over two days before, and at Maggie’s request he’d played a few songs for them on his uncle’s banjo and, at Carlos’ request, a few songs on the bass. “Julie is his older sister.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh,”</p><p> </p><p>Three minutes later, they’re pulling up to a house, and a short girl with curly hair who looks a year or two younger than him runs out the front door and down the uneven stone path toward the car, carrying several sheets of paper.</p><p> </p><p>“Hi Mrs. Kiefer!” the girl calls out, struggling to hold her pile of papers and open the door.</p><p> </p><p>“Hi Julie,”</p><p> </p><p>Reggie turns around in his seat and reaches behind him to open the car door, nearly startling Julie, and gives her an apologetic smile as she slides into the seat behind him.</p><p> </p><p>“Julie, have you met my nephew Reggie?”</p><p> </p><p>“No, I don’t think so,” Julie unceremoniously drops the papers into a heap in the middle seat and offers her hand to Reggie, who takes her hand and shakes it. “It’s nice to meet you, Reggie.”</p><p> </p><p>“Nice to meet you too, Julie,”</p><p> </p><p>So far she seems cool. He’s not sure if she’s as cool as Carlos, but she seems nice.</p><p> </p><p>Julie and his aunt talk a little more and he stays silent, wishing he had something to do with his hands other than picking at his jeans or at his phone case. It’s a few minutes later that Julie pipes up again, asking, “you play guitar?”</p><p> </p><p>He turns and looks at her, and she’s pointing at his guitar case that’s sitting next to her. “Yeah, I play bass,”</p><p> </p><p>“...and you brought it with you?”</p><p> </p><p>“I wasn’t gonna come for the whole summer and not bring my guitar,” he shrugged, and Julie just snorts.</p><p> </p><p>“No, I mean to the CIT orientation. They’ll have guitars there, if you wanna show your stuff,”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh,” he responds, feeling a little dumb. “What are all your papers for?”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m gonna be helping with the singing and piano stuff, but there are a few songs I wanted to do that I haven’t memorized completely on the piano, so I brought the sheet music,” she explains, and starts ruffling through them. “And there was one form that I hadn’t yet turned in, so they told me it was okay to bring it in today.”</p><p> </p><p>“Cool,” he turns to his aunt, a question forming in his mind.</p><p> </p><p>“All your papers are already in, Reg.”</p><p> </p><p>He sighs in relief. “Cool.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, and this camp is pretty cool. Everyone I’ve met here is chill,” Julie tells him.</p><p> </p><p>He takes her word for it up until the minute she leads him through the front doors of the building. </p><p> </p><p>All the other CITs are between 13 and 15 years old, he thinks, so he feels a bit out of place sitting among them. And Julie is cool, but her reassuring looks don’t help him feel any less uneasy once he gets a judgemental stare from the teenaged counselor who’s signing all the CITs in. He’s closer to the ages of some of the teen counselors and he kind of suddenly doesn’t want to be there.</p><p> </p><p>Julie is nice but she has friends here and he’s not going to latch onto her when he only met her half an hour ago.</p><p> </p><p>He sits in a chair on the other side of the room, away from Julie and her friend Flynn and whoever else they’re talking to, and sits through the presentation alone.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Julie finds him after orientation ends. His guitar case is over his shoulder and he’s looking down at his phone, texting his aunt to ask where she is and trying not to feel like an idiot for bringing his own bass guitar to the orientation day for a summer camp.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey!”</p><p> </p><p>The girl has the voice of an angel and apparently the smile of one, too. She’s beaming at him and he wonders if the sun is as bright as her smile.</p><p> </p><p>He glances up at the sky, cloudless and blue as ever, and decides within an instant, <em> Nope. No star in the sky could ever compare. </em></p><p> </p><p>“What did you think?”</p><p> </p><p>He shrugs. “It was just orientation. Ask me at the end of the day on Monday.”</p><p> </p><p>Her grin widens, if that’s even possible. Reggie has known people who radiate certain emotions, but Julie is one of the first who seems to exude <em> kindness </em>.</p><p> </p><p>“Sounds good,” she nods, and then gets a mischievous look in her eyes. “Do you want to go get ice cream?”</p><p> </p><p>He nods and texts his aunt, because she’s running a little late anyway because of traffic, and Julie agrees to his offer of letting him carry her sheet music in his guitar case, and then he lets Julie drag him a few streets away to a small ice cream shop.</p><p> </p><p>The walls are a light shade of pink, one that Reggie wonders if Alex would know the name for, given that he helped his dad repaint his younger sister’s room a few months ago, and the man at the register seems to know Julie. He rings them up, hardly even batting an eye at the amount of sugar Julie gets. Julie’s three scoops of different ice cream flavors, with whipped cream, chocolate syrup, and rainbow sprinkles, in a large chocolate-covered waffle cone seems almost expected.</p><p> </p><p>Reggie, stunned, just asks for a scoop of strawberry ice cream in a cup.</p><p> </p><p>They sit at a table together outside the ice cream shop, where Reggie can put his guitar case down next to him and Julie can look over at the cinema across from them and comment on what movies she’s excited to see, smiling happily from behind her tower of ice cream.</p><p> </p><p>“Have you seen the Incredibles 2 yet?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie shakes her head.</p><p> </p><p>“I saw it with my cousins and it was <em> so </em> good. I think you’d love it. Do you want to see it with me sometime? I mean, as long as you’re okay with flashing lights, I know that was a problem for some people.” Reggie scratches the back of his head, realizing he’s talking a lot again, but Julie doesn’t seem to have much of a problem with it.</p><p> </p><p>“That sounds fun! I’ve been meaning to see it anyway,” Julie replies, taking another lick from one of the scoops of ice cream. Despite the California heat, her ice cream has somehow still not melted.</p><p> </p><p>“Cool,” he grins back.</p><p> </p><p>Within another few minutes, Julie has finished one of the scoops of ice cream— he thinks it might be cotton candy, because he doesn’t know what other flavor would make an ice cream <em> blue </em>— and has started on devouring the next scoop when she asks, “so do you play a lot?”</p><p> </p><p>He raises his eyebrows and looks to his guitar and then back at her. She nods. “Yeah, I guess? I mean, I used to jam with my friend Luke before he moved,”</p><p> </p><p>Julie frowns. “That sucks,”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, but we still talk a lot,”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s not the same as hanging out, though, is it?” Julie asks with a tilt of her head.</p><p> </p><p>For some reason it’s then that Reggie remembers that she’s at least a year younger than him and that because she lives in the US she’s a grade level lower than she would be anywhere else. He has a year left of school and then he’s done. She’s less than two years younger than him and she’s got four years left, somehow.</p><p> </p><p>“No, it’s not,” he agrees, and then says, “You’re an amazing singer, you know.”</p><p> </p><p>She blinks for a moment and smiles at him. “Thanks, Reggie.”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course,”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Monday is seriously hectic, but at least he and Julie are both pretty good with dealing with kids. It’s a five-class rotation, so Julie spends the first two doing piano lessons and the fourth and fifth doing voice lessons, while Reggie spends the first two teaching beginners how to play and spends the fourth and fifth teaching novices better technique and some more advanced songs. They meet up during the third class, which is right after lunch, and since they’ve got about an hour Julie suggests they take a walk through the grounds.</p><p> </p><p>“You know how I mentioned my friend Luke the other day?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie nods.</p><p> </p><p>“It turns out, he’s coming here with his drummer friend, Alex,”</p><p> </p><p>Julie raises an eyebrow. “When? And did they only just tell you?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I guess they wanted it to be a surprise. They’ll be here the week of Maggie’s birthday party, so my aunt is thinking we could play as a little surprise.”</p><p> </p><p>There’s a pause. “Have you guys ever all played together?” Julie asks. “You said you’d played with Luke before, and I’m guessing Luke has played with Alex before, but isn’t it kind of a problem if the bassist and the drummer of a band have never played together before?”</p><p> </p><p>Reggie hums. “Yeah, I guess, but we’ve played together separately and put a few tracks together, and those sounded fine, so it’s all just a matter of getting in-sync with each other.”</p><p> </p><p>Or at least, he really hopes so.</p><p> </p><p>“You guys have made tracks together?”</p><p> </p><p>He nods. “Yeah, we haven’t really posted them anywhere, since they’re kind of rough cuts, but yeah!”</p><p> </p><p>“Can I hear any of them?”</p><p> </p><p>Reggie grins wide and pulls out his phone, and Julie pulls out a pair of earphones from her pocket, and soon enough she’s nodding her head as she listens to a really rough demo of Now or Never.</p><p> </p><p>She looks up at him, wide eyed, when she finally finishes. “You guys are <em> really </em> good,”</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks,”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course,”</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>♮♮♮</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Julie’s mom has been gone for a year and it hasn’t gotten any easier. She’s gone and she’s <em> been </em>gone for almost a year, and Julie hasn’t been able to bring herself to sing at all, even when she’s alone, for even longer.</p><p> </p><p>She knows there’s no such thing as ghosts but she certainly <em> feels </em> haunted.</p><p> </p><p>Today is her last chance, and she hopes she can do it. Flynn has been hyping her up and the guys have been hyping her up and her dad and her brother are always trying to help get her energy back up these days, but some days Julie feels like there’s barely enough life left in her to get through the day.</p><p> </p><p>No wonder her tía has been talking about moving. Sometimes it’s draining to even eat at the dining table without her mom.</p><p> </p><p>But today is different. It has to be, or else she’ll lose her spot in the music program. And music has been a part of her for so long that she’s not quite sure who she is without it.</p><p> </p><p>But then she gets up and gets behind the keyboard, and her fingers barely even touch the keys and <em> everything </em> is coming back to her, flooding her senses like she’s getting wiped out by a crashing wave, and it’s too much.</p><p> </p><p>She can’t do it.</p><p> </p><p>She can’t be in the music room for even another minute. She feels awful for running out, but if she stays then she’ll end up crying in front of everyone, and everyone’s been walking on eggshells around her for a year but it would be so much worse if they see her fall apart.</p><p> </p><p>And Flynn comes running after her, because of course she does; she’s a good friend. She’s a good friend, she’s Julie’s best friend, and Julie doesn’t know where she’d be right now if it weren’t for Flynn.</p><p> </p><p>But she can’t do it.</p><p> </p><p>She’s been trying for a year: for herself, for Flynn, for Ms. Harrison, for her dad, for her mom… but she doesn’t think she has enough energy left in her.</p><p> </p><p>She’s so, so <em> tired </em>.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b> <em>Sunset Swerve</em> </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Julie Molina] </em>
</p><p>Hey are you guys doing a jam session today?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Luke Skywalker] </em>
</p><p>can’t, i got work</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Elton John] </em>
</p><p>sorry jules</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Luke Skywalker] </em>
</p><p>also alex has a date</p><p>so it’s not just me</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Alexander the Great] </em>
</p><p>traitor.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Julie Molina] </em>
</p><p>Cool! Have fun Alex</p><p> </p><p>Julie stares down at her phone and then up at the ceiling. She really doesn’t know how to tell them that she cost herself her final chance in the music program, but she doesn’t want to bring down the energy in the chat. She’s really happy that Alex asked out, or got asked out by, the guy he’s been telling them about for what must be months, at this point. Or, well, she’s assuming it’s the skater boy.</p><p> </p><p>She feels her phone vibrate in her hands and looks back down to see a new WhatsApp message from Reggie, not in the chat this time.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Elton John] </em>
</p><p>hey jules</p><p>how was ur day</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Julie Molina] </em>
</p><p>It was ok</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Elton John] </em>
</p><p>buying a plane ticket back to LA rn</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Julie Molina] </em>
</p><p>Not that I don’t wish you were here, but why?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Elton John] </em>
</p><p>bc u def need a hug</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Julie Molina] </em>
</p><p>???</p><p>How could you tell</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Elton John] </em>
</p><p>big brother senses</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Julie Molina] </em>
</p><p>…</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Elton John] </em>
</p><p>u wanna call later?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Julie Molina] </em>
</p><p>No it’s ok</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Elton John] </em>
</p><p>u wanna talk about it?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Julie Molina] </em>
</p><p>Another time?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Elton John] </em>
</p><p>ok</p><p>tell me if u need a pick me up</p><p>or a sad playlist to vibe to</p><p>i’m here if u need me</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Julie Molina] </em>
</p><p>I know</p><p>I just wish you were here</p><p> </p><p>She almost types <em> I wish she were here </em> but she’s sure Reggie already knows that.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Feeling So Small</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>The summer before her freshman year of high school, Julie Molina is fourteen years old and dating her best friend.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She and Flynn have been inseparable since elementary school and they’ve grown up together. Flynn is one of the most important people in Julie’s life and Julie remembers the terror she felt when she realized that she might end up losing and ruining everything if she said it out loud.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She’d tried not to acknowledge it. For months she tried to act normal, but Flynn eventually saw through it. She always did. She knew Julie better than anyone.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was weird, when she finally tried to admit it. She almost chickened out and did it over text, but then reminded herself that that would leave physical evidence of what she had said, and that Flynn’s siblings would sometimes steal her phone for fun. And when she said it out loud she thought she didn’t do it right, because she didn’t know how to talk about her feelings the way people did in movies, but in the end Flynn told her that she liked Julie too and… well, now they’re here.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They’re sort of together, but right now it’s kind of just for fun, and nobody knows except them. Julie hasn’t told Carlos or her parents or her tía and Flynn hasn’t told her siblings or her parents or grandparents.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie orders the bi pride special when she brings Reggie to Enzo Stuart’s ice cream parlor for the first time. She and Flynn found </span>
  <em>
    <span>Enzo’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> a few years ago, and he often has a smile on his face when he sees either of them come through the door. Apparently Flynn knew she was queer for a while before she even came out to Julie in sixth grade, and he’s always made them feel welcome. Flynn had tried not to make a big deal out of it when she decided to tell him, and Julie sewed together a small lesbian pride patch for Flynn to wear on her denim jacket. He’d given her a smile and a nod, and when his son came to take over the next shift a bit later, he came over and complimented the pride patch, and asked if she knew where he could get one..</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Every year, without fail, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Enzo’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> makes the best pride-flag-inspired combos of their homemade ice cream and keeps them out for the whole summer, despite that pride month only lasts through June.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie doesn’t know why she takes Reggie there on the first day they meet, but they have a nice time. He’s goofy and fun to talk to, and sometimes he switches topics suddenly or starts talking really fast like he’s trying to explain his whole train of thought in one breath, but being friends with Flynn and Carrie for so long means that Julie is prepared for all of it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sometimes Reggie seems surprised by how well she keeps up the conversation with him, and it breaks her heart a little. Doesn’t he have anyone he can talk to as easily as this?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie finds herself feeling even more gratitude for Flynn when she wonders that.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>By the end of the first week of camp, Julie and Reggie already have a rhythm going for the classes. It’s nice, doing piano in the mornings and singing in the afternoons. It feels like her hands wake up first, and then she hangs out with Flynn during lunch, and talks to Reggie during their post-lunch free time, and then it’s like her voice (and maybe her soul) has woken up enough to sing and help the kids use their voices.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“When did you learn to play bass?” Julie asks one day. They’ve sat themselves down beside each other in the grass outside the school where the camp takes place, and, with the way Reggie always seems to rub his fingers together, Julie can’t help but notice the calluses on his fingertips.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It reminds her of how her mom’s fingers always used to be so rough whenever Julie clutched onto her hand while crossing the street as a kid, or how her rough fingertips guided Julie’s hands so gently and with such patience when she was first teaching Julie to play the piano.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her mom hasn’t played the guitar much since she got sick, and many days Julie finds herself missing the roughness of her mom’s hands.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I don’t know, I was only seven or eight when I started,” he replies with a shrug. “I used to play with an old one that was my older brother’s friend’s before it was mine.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie finally gives up on sitting upright and just lays down on her back in the grass, staring up at the barely-cloudy sky. “Did you get lessons?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, I just taught myself with his old books. It was slow at first, but I eventually figured it out.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So you taught yourself?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie raises her eyebrows, because she knows a lot of people are self-taught, but Reggie is pretty awesome at bass, and it seems like he knows a bit on the electric guitar too. Enough to help teach some of the beginners, at least.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Youtube helped,” he shrugs again. “Luke helped a little bit too, I guess,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie rolls her eyes but finds herself smiling fondly. Reggie talks about Luke and Alex so much that even in </span>
  <em>
    <span>her</span>
  </em>
  <span> head, she’s started just calling them ‘the guys’.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So how did you meet this Luke guy?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“It was like two years ago, I think. We were in different grades but we were in the school band—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wait, you’re in </span>
  <em>
    <span>band</span>
  </em>
  <span>?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, I play trombone,” he says, waving off her questions, and Julie tucks that piece of information into her brain because someday, maybe not today but </span>
  <em>
    <span>someday</span>
  </em>
  <span>, she’s going to figure out how many instruments this dude plays. “He played cornet. One day he came running into class late and I accidentally knocked him over.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie laughs. Reggie can’t be serious that that’s how he met the lead singer of his band, she thinks, only she looks over to see Reggie raising an eyebrow at her and— oh, wait,</span>
  <em>
    <span> seriously?</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“You’re kidding,” she breathes out. That’s so bizarre.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nope,” Reggie sighs. “He came in late to class and he was literally </span>
  <em>
    <span>running</span>
  </em>
  <span> in, and I didn’t see him, and I hit him in the chest and knocked him to the ground. The teacher told me to take him to the nurse and… yeah, that’s pretty much how we met.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Wow,” </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He wasn’t, like, upset that you hit him with your trombone?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reggie shrugs, the corners of his lips curling into a small smile. “He was more pouty about it than anything else. He got over it really quickly as soon as he found out I could play bass.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cool,” Julie grins, and stares blankly up at the sky. Her eyebrows furrow as she wonders aloud, “So do I get to meet them?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reggie’s neck cracks with the speed he turns his head to look at her. He grimaces a little at the sound, and then focuses back on her. “You mean Luke and Alex?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, is that okay?” she asks, suddenly feeling unsure.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She knows that she’s younger than all of them by at least a year and she knows Reggie is cool with hanging out with her, but he kind of doesn’t even know anyone else besides his cousins. It might not be the same with Luke and Alex. She knows virtually nothing about them— she’s never met them or talked to them or texted them or anything; she’s going solely off of what Reggie says, and she’s only known him for a week and a half, so she doesn’t know much about him either. He seems cool, but it’s a little too early to trust him completely. And even if he </span>
  <em>
    <span>is</span>
  </em>
  <span> trustworthy, she knows how much a person’s experience and feelings can skew their perspective.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And just because Reggie makes them seem cool doesn’t mean they really are that great. Just because they’re friends with Reggie doesn’t mean they’ll want to be friends with her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, of course you can meet them! You don’t even have to ask,” Reggie’s grin is blinding compared to the darkening thoughts that just clouded her brain.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie stretches her arms over her head and tries to smile back, then clutches at her elbows and uses her forearms to cover her eyes from the sun.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you guys have a set list yet for Maggie’s party?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“We’re working on it. Alex definitely wants to do Now or Never and Luke wants to play Bright, so I think those are on the list, so we just have to decide on what covers we want to play… and then get them approved by my aunt and uncle.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie hums in response as he keeps talking about the band’s plan for his cousin’s birthday party. She’s short but it’s been a long time since she’s felt this small. It has nothing to do with her height, she knows, and everything to do with how she thinks other people look at her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She hopes she won’t feel this small when she finally meets Luke and Alex.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>She and Flynn decide to go to </span>
  <em>
    <span>Enzo’s</span>
  </em>
  <span> after the second Wednesday of camp finishes. They’re a week and a half into the three week camp, and Julie is happy but a little bit exhausted. She and Flynn walk side-by-side on the way there, talking about Flynn’s cousin who moved to New Orleans recently.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“He said that once he settles in, I can visit whenever,” Flynn grins, and Julie grins right back. It’s always been hard for Julie not to smile when Flynn is smiling. Even before they started dating, Flynn always had a special talent for lighting Julie up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“That sounds so cool. He’s going to be helping one of those companies make the Mardi Gras floats, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Flynn nods. “Yeah. He sounds so happy and excited every time I call him up.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie raises an eyebrow. “And how do you sound?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Happy. Really happy,” Flynn assures her, and slings an arm around Julie’s shoulders. Julie melts a little bit into the contact, and all the tension in her muscles finally drains away like water.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They walk into the ice cream parlor, and it’s Enzo’s son Hudson on shift, along with two other teenagers. He smiles at the two of them.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well if it isn’t my two favorite crazy musicians,” he says with a grin, putting his hands on the counter and leaning forward on his elbows.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I thought your favorite musician-gone-mad was Mozart,” Flynn retorts with an easy smile.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hudson rolls his eyes. “Nah, he’s my favorite </span>
  <em>
    <span>composer</span>
  </em>
  <span>-gone-mad. Different category entirely,” he glances at the ice cream tubs. “Do you two want your summer usuals?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Eh, I’m thinking of trying the green and white and purple one,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Genderqueer, yeah. Do you want lavender or blueberry for the purple?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Lavender sounds better with vanilla and mint chip,” Flynn shrugs, and adds, “In a cup,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hudson nods. “Anything for you today, Molina?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie shrugs. “Just a scoop of strawberry ice cream in a cup, please?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Is Enzo here?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nah, both my dads are out. It’s the anniversary of the day they finally got like, legally married,” he says with a grin. “They both took the whole day off from work.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A few minutes later, Julie and Flynn have paid for their ice creams, and they’re sitting at the table between the window and the counter and are turned so they’re facing Hudson, who’s talking to them from behind the counter. The other two teens have taken over on orders for all the kids and teens that come in and out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So did you ever ask that girl out?” Flynn asks, raising an eyebrow.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What girl?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hudson is a worse liar than Julie. His voice goes a little wobbly just trying to say those two words like he doesn’t know what they mean.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie rolls her eyes. “The really smart girl from your econ class who you wouldn’t stop talking about during the school year. You know, uh,” she closes her eyes, trying to think of her name. “Oh, her name is Lily, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie and Flynn spend the next ten minutes asking him about Lily, who’s apparently one of his best friends now and, yeah, he originally thought he wanted to ask her out but then he realized he only really sees her, and everyone else, platonically.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cool. So when do we get to meet your new best friend?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hudson laughs. “I can bring her here sometime when I’m not on-shift,” It’s easier during the summer, since there are a few teenagers who applied for summer jobs at </span>
  <em>
    <span>Enzo’s</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Julie doesn’t know how he dealt with work </span>
  <em>
    <span>and</span>
  </em>
  <span> college during the year.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, that sounds awesome,” Julie grins.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Flynn nods in agreement. “Yeah, I can’t wait to meet one of the people you’ll be best man for.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Hudson’s ears go pink at the tips. “Shut up,” he grumbles, and Flynn just laughs. Like a lot of things, Julie thinks Flynn will probably be right.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Julie walks Flynn home after they’re done talking to Hudson. It’s summer, and it’s been less than a week since the longest day of the year, so they’ve got a few more hours of sunlight, but Flynn told her dad she’d be home by 4:30 to help him with something.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s only 4, though, so they have some time to spare.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie and Flynn live close enough to each other that they usually walk to school together in the mornings, and they live close enough to the Kiefers’ house that it’s not that much longer a walk to take the detour.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Come on, please? I wanna introduce you to Reggie!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“The bass guy? He sits with us during lunch, I’ve already met him,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, but you haven’t talked to him or heard him play! He’s really good at bass. </span>
  <em>
    <span>And</span>
  </em>
  <span> he’s pretty cool.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Cool as in </span>
  <em>
    <span>typical older kid</span>
  </em>
  <span> cool or is he genuinely cool?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Flynn!” Julie groans, playfully poking her in the shoulder. “He’s actually cool to talk to. He’s really funny and like, uh— what’s the word, y’know,” she pauses, “he’s really down to earth. I think you’d like him if you actually talked to him.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Can’t it be another day? I’ve got an extra half hour I could be spending with you. Or an extra half hour I could be spending at home before I have to help my dad.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie doesn’t know how to admit that she’d rather spend as much time with Flynn as possible before she has to go home. Her mom still isn’t back from the hospital after one of the more intensive chemotherapy sessions, and the house doesn’t feel quite like home without her but Julie doesn’t know if she can handle visiting the hospital today.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Please?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Flynn relents.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A few minutes later, they’re knocking at the Kiefers’ front door. Evelyn, unsurprisingly, is the one who answers the door.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Julie, hi! And Flynn, it’s so nice to see you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Good to see you too, Mrs. Kiefer,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Evelyn raises an eyebrow. “Did Carlos and Maggie arrange a hangout without me knowing?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“No, no,” Julie shakes her head, “We were actually wondering if we could steal Reggie for a bit.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh!” Evelyn’s face brightens and she gestures for them to give her a minute.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>After some squeaking and the crashing sound of what’s probably toys, Reggie comes running to the front door. And little Joanie is right there with him on his back, hanging with her arms around his shoulders. Julie sticks her tongue out at Joanie and the girl giggles and sticks her tongue out back at Julie.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey,” Reggie says, his cheeks looking a little pink. He readjusts Joanie on his back. “What’s up?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie looks over at Flynn, who’s looking at him with a grin that’s ear-to-ear, and Julie finds herself grinning too. “We were wondering if you were free to hang out for a bit,” Flynn says.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie can already see Joanie pouting like she knows she’s going to be left out.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reggie blinks a few times. “Right now? Uh, sure, just give me a—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Just then, Reggie’s aunt walks up behind him and picks up Joanie from off his back, ignoring the 6-year-old’s protests, and then lowers her to the floor. Joanie is </span>
  <em>
    <span>definitely</span>
  </em>
  <span> pouting now, though it’s directed at her mother.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reggie turns to Joanie. “Hey, we can make another blanket fort later. And some hot chocolate. How does that sound?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Joanie’s pout fades a little and she holds out her pinky finger to Reggie. Reggie holds out his pinky finger and crosses it with hers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>With that, Julie and Flynn and Reggie all go to sit in the Kiefers’ backyard together. Reggie and Flynn get along pretty well.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“So how’s Canada?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, we have an actual winter season up in B.C.,” Reggie smirks, and Flynn makes a face.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey, LA is nice, even if we don’t get snow,” Flynn tries to defend. “At least people can surf year round, if they want,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you two know how to surf?” Reggie’s eyes widen in excitement.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Flynn shakes her head. “No, I can barely even boogie-board,” she tells him with a snort.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie feels the cartoon lightbulb flicker on above her head. “What if we all try to learn?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Flynn’s eyes go wide and, for a moment, Julie wonders if she’ll reject the idea, but then she smiles. “Yes! Totally!”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>They turn toward Reggie. “I mean, totally, just…” His brows furrow and Julie notes the way his shoulders tense. He fixes a hard stare on them both. “I know I’m older than you guys, but neither of you are going to, like, laugh at me if it takes me longer to figure it out, right?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course not,” Julie assures him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Flynn nods. “I’ll probably get wiped out more often than both of you combined, so you better promise not to laugh at me either,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Of course not,” Reggie promises immediately, like a child who’s just been scolded and asked if he’s going to do the bad thing again.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Flynn just grins wider. “Cool,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The conversation goes pretty well, all things considered, and Julie feels really happy knowing that two of her friends get along. At more than one point, Flynn turns to her with a look in her eyes that says ‘okay yeah he’s actually pretty cool’, and at more than one point, Julie wonders how she’s already become so attached to Reggie after not even two weeks of knowing him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s a little bit weird, caring so much about someone she hasn’t known that long, but she likes it. With Flynn and Reggie, she loses some of the aching in her chest. Her heart feels a little bigger with each person she lets into her life.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She doesn’t feel so small when her heart feels this big. </span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>♮♮♮</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Julie told her dad that she would clean out her mom’s studio. Her dad and Carlos will be back from Carlos’ game soon though, and she should probably at least get started on it. She feels like she owes that to them, considering that she’s the main reason they’re moving, but she really doesn’t want to; it’s nearing almost a year since her mom’s passing and it still feels too early to try to move on. It still feels wrong that the world is moving on, even when it’s lost one of its brightest stars.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But somewhere in the back of her mind, she knows her mom would want her to live. Julie doesn’t know what she’s been doing since her mom died, but she doesn’t know if it would really count as </span>
  <em>
    <span>living</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The studio feels darker than ever even when Julie turns the light on. Everything in the house feels dimmer without her mom, but the studio seems to have especially lost its life.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She walks over to the piano and pulls away the sheet that was covering it. Some dust flies up into the air and tickles her nose, and Julie scrunches up her face and tries to force back a sneeze.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her fingers glide over the top of the grand piano and she pulls open the case so her fingers can flit across some of the ivory keys, though she makes sure not to press down hard enough for any to make a sound. If she puts too much pressure on any of the keys, it’ll feel like something’s putting pressure on her heartstrings and she’ll feel like she can’t breathe.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She moves whatever papers are sitting on the bench, and sits down with her fingers sitting right at the base of the keys.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She closes her eyes. “I’m sorry, Mom. I haven’t been in here.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>What would her mother think if she heard that Julie had given up music?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She doesn’t want to know the answer. After everything that her mother had done that involved fighting to keep music in her own life, and, later, in Julie’s, she kind of thinks her mother would be disappointed that she’s given up.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s painful to give it up, and it’s painful to try to let it go, but it’s even more painful to try to play or sing when the last time was when—</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The day she lost music was a terrible day.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She shuts the case and steps away from the piano, feeling cold all over. She cleans out the stuff in the loft until Carlos and her dad come back, and sets aside a CD she finds with the name ‘Rose and the Petal-Pushers’ written on it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She doesn’t look at the pages of sheet music that she’d moved off the piano bench. She doesn’t think she can deal with that just yet.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Talking to her dad about how she lost her spot in the music program is uncomfortable. She doesn’t know how to talk about it, but it’s not like she can just </span>
  <em>
    <span>not</span>
  </em>
  <span> talk about it. Music has always been her thing. It’s always been her love and her passion, but at the end of the day it’s still tied so closely to her mother that Julie doesn’t think she would be able to open her mouth to sing without hearing her mother’s voice in harmony with her own, doesn’t think she could put her hands to the piano keys without feeling the ghost of her mother’s hands guiding hers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She doesn’t know how to say any of that out loud, though. If she says that she still feels her mother’s hands on hers every time she tries to play the piano, she has a feeling her dad might send her back to therapy with Dr. Turner three times a week. It was hard enough to convince her dad that she was coping well enough to go down to twice a week then finally to once a week, but she feels like now he probably has half a mind to go back to scheduling her for three sessions a week, just so she’ll talk to </span>
  <em>
    <span>someone</span>
  </em>
  <span> about why she’s given up music.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Just so she’ll talk to </span>
  <em>
    <span>someone</span>
  </em>
  <span> about anything.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s a little exhausting. </span>
  <em>
    <span>No</span>
  </em>
  <span>, she’s not okay. </span>
  <em>
    <span>No</span>
  </em>
  <span>, she can’t say that she’s not okay. </span>
  <em>
    <span>No</span>
  </em>
  <span>, she doesn’t want to talk about how she’s coping. She’s hardly coping at all. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Yes</span>
  </em>
  <span>, she misses her mother. </span>
  <em>
    <span>Yes</span>
  </em>
  <span>, she wishes she’d had more time with her.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Sometimes she thinks she skipped some of the stages of grief. She remembers the feeling of denial even though she was </span>
  <em>
    <span>there</span>
  </em>
  <span>, but she doesn’t remember anger or bargaining. Besides the initial anger that fate had ripped her mother away from her, she thinks she skipped straight from denial to depression.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It really sucks.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Like for most things these days, she tries to talk to Reggie and Flynn. Flynn doesn’t answer, so Julie assumes she’s doing homework or hanging out with her siblings or doing chores.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s at times like these, on the days when her lows feel lower, that Julie feels bad for ever trying to push Flynn away when she first lost her mom. She’s glad that Flynn is so hellbent on not letting their friendship fade, because if she didn’t have Flynn she wouldn’t have gotten through it in one piece. Flynn had been completely understanding when Julie said she didn’t think she was fit to be in a relationship, but she hadn’t left Julie’s side when things got tough or when Julie was difficult to deal with— even on the few days that Julie had skipped school because she could barely talk or wouldn’t talk at all, she came by after school with Julie’s homework, and gave Julie a recap of all the drama she’d missed.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Flynn has been her rock through everything, but even best friends have their own lives to live.  </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She texts Reggie instead.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>[Julie Molina]</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Hey Reggie</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>[Elton John]</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>hey</span>
</p><p>
  <span>what’s up</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>[Julie Molina]</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Are you free to call rn</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>[Elton John]</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>yeah ofc</span>
</p><p>
  <span>gimme a minute</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A few minutes later, once Julie is already two problems into her calculus homework, her phone finally buzzes. She picks it up, only to see another message instead of a call to answer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>[Elton John]</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>phone call or video call?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie smiles and rolls her eyes a little, then hits the ‘video call’ button. Reggie’s pixelated face pops up on her screen after loading for a few seconds.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey Julie,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Hey Reggie,” she sighs. “How are you?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“I’m good today, I guess,” he shrugs. “Sorry for the delay. I was gonna tell my parents that I was going out, but they’re fighting so I just texted them instead.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Was it bad today?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shrugs again. “They were being pretty loud, but I don’t know, I was trying not to listen. It brings down my mood too much, y’know? Last week it ended up bleeding into my songwriting.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie winces. “Yikes. Did you keep whatever you wrote?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, of course. I’m probably gonna want to look back at it someday, y’know?” Reggie’s face distorts into a slight grimace. “Ugh, I think it’s gonna rain soon.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Do you have an umbrella?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shakes his head.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Well, that sucks.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah,”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reggie starts walking again, and Julie can see some tree branches hanging above his head. One whacks him in the face and she snickers, while he sticks his tongue out at her. “Meanie.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Sorry,” she covers her mouth with the back of her hand, trying to stifle the sound of her giggles.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Reggie just smiles fondly on her screen. “Do you keep old stuff you’ve written?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Yeah, of course,” Julie says. “In my dream box.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Right,” he nods, then asks, “do you ever, y’know, look back at that stuff?”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie bites her lip. “I haven’t looked at any of it recently, no.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Oh. Right, sorry.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Julie shakes her head. “No, it’s fine, I just—”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She thinks of the song her mom wrote for her, the one she knows is sitting on the piano right now.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Maybe I should,” she says quietly to herself.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“What?” Reggie asks loudly. “What did you say? Sorry, I didn’t hear you.”</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>“Nothing,” Julie shakes her head, but the thought stays at the back of her brain until Reggie hangs up from the call.</span>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>
  <span>Julie reads the sheet music.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She reads over the words and the notes, though she </span>
  <em>
    <span>knows </span>
  </em>
  <span>that the melody and the words are already imprinted in her brain. She remembers it all too well, but can’t bring herself to sing it or hum it to herself. She doesn’t even let herself open the case to lay her hands on the keys.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It’s supposed to be a duet.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She walks away and leaves the sheet music on the piano, but still thinks about the song the whole night.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She wakes up early the next morning, and there’s a thrumming in her bones that always used to come when she got restless. Usually she’d quell that by playing music. For the past year, though, she’s found other ways to occupy herself when she feels like this.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Today, she doesn’t fight it.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She goes to the garage before the sun has really risen, and the studio still looks dark, but it doesn’t seem as daunting and haunting as it has for the past year.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She sits down at the piano, breathes in, and starts playing.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>When she’s singing the first verse and the first, she can still hear her mother’s voice in her ears from when they sang it together. She listens to the voice, and as she sings she pretends it’s her mother singing the verse to her like she did last time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>I know it’s not the same, / You’ve got living to do, / And I just want you to do it.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Everything</span>
  </em>
  <span> seems to have changed since the last time Julie sang this song, but isn’t that the point? That she has to live with this enormous, terrible change. That she has to hold onto the memories and let them fuel her to keep going. That she has to keep </span>
  <em>
    <span>living</span>
  </em>
  <span>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>She feels like she’s going to cry or scream from the sudden tidal wave of emotion that sweeps over her, but she keeps singing. She keeps playing. She keeps going.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>No need to fear it, you’re not alone. / You’re gonna find your way home.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Her voice rips out of her, stronger than she thought she could do without a vocal warmup, and the noise in her head quiets. She sings and she sings and she sings and she feels the air come in and out of her lungs as she sings, and she feels so, so </span>
  <em>
    <span>alive.</span>
  </em>
  <span> For the first time in so many months, she feels so, so alive.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This is how she’s going to fight back against the universe, despite everything it’s taken from her and her family. This is how she’s going to keep her mom’s memory alive.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>This is how she’s going to keep living.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This is a very Julie-centric chapter but that's probably how it's gonna be for the first few chapters honestly? I don't have it all planned out yet, but at first it'll be mostly focused on her and Reggie and Flynn and then I think I'll go more into Luke and Alex's storylines.</p><p> </p><p>Thanks for reading! All comments are appreciated!</p><p>You can find me on tumblr @/heartsick-stranger</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Relight that Spark</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Wow it's been almost a month since i last updated this?? Sorry y'all :/</p><p>This chapter was beta'd by a friend of mine who is vv good at editing and even better at making me cry with sad Willex headcanons. :')</p><p>Anyway consider this a holiday update from me! I hope y'all enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Reggie wakes up on July 4th, thinking it’s just a random Wednesday until he finds that both his aunt and uncle are both awake and cooking. There’s a pile of red, white, and blue decorations and costume pieces taking up Joanie’s usual seat at the kitchen table, and Joanie herself is sitting on the table, kicking her legs up and down.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey, Joanie,” he greets her tiredly as he sinks down into the seat beside her, narrowly avoiding getting kicked in the face.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey Reggie!” she grins, showing off the gap where one of her front teeth still hasn’t grown back in. Reggie wonders if his older siblings thought he was this adorable whenever he’d given them a toothy grin as a kid.</p><p> </p><p>“What’cha doin’?” he asks her.</p><p> </p><p>She frowns in confusion until she realizes he’s pointing at the piece of paper in her hands, and then she beams at him, makes a final snip with the scissors in her hand, and hands it to him. The red construction paper has been cut into the shape of a lopsided heart with a fold along the middle, and Reggie smiles.</p><p> </p><p>“Who’s this for?”</p><p> </p><p>“Mrs. Molina!”</p><p> </p><p>Reggie blinks and stares blankly at her until the words match up in his brain. “Oh. Julie and Carlos’ mom?”</p><p> </p><p>Joanie nods, and Reggie doesn’t have time to try to figure out why only Mrs. Molina gets a nice card, because his aunt asks, “hey, Reggie, can you help me with the watermelon juice?”</p><p> </p><p>He hands the card back to Joanie. “I bet it’s gonna look amazing when it’s done. She’s gonna love it,” he promises, despite that today will be the first time he meets Mrs. Molina.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>When Reggie walks into the Molina family’s small backyard party to celebrate the Fourth of July, he instinctively looks for Julie, and, because there aren’t many people here yet, he finds her pretty quickly. She’s wearing a red sundress with a denim jean jacket over it, and she has a pair of American flag-print sunglasses pushed up into her hairline. It looks like one of the ones he saw his cousin Maggie carrying in, so maybe Julie got a pair from her while he was helping his aunt and uncle bring out all the watermelon juice and lemon tarts and pasta salad.</p><p> </p><p>He doesn’t get the chance to talk to her until a bit later, though, because his uncle pulls him away to talk to someone.</p><p> </p><p>“Reggie, this is Julie’s dad,” his uncle tells him.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s nice to meet you, Mr. Molina,” Reggie offers out his hand, and Mr. Molina shakes it with a smile.</p><p> </p><p>Okay, it’s a little hard to <em> not </em> trust someone with such a kind smile, even with Reggie being… well, Reggie.</p><p> </p><p>“Please, call me Ray,”</p><p> </p><p>Reggie will try, but he doesn’t know if he’ll ever feel comfortable enough with an adult to call them by their first name.</p><p> </p><p>“So, Julie tells me you’re in a band?”</p><p> </p><p>Reggie’s eyes widen. “Uh, yeah, sorta,” he lets out a nervous laugh. He doesn’t really talk about the band; he’s never been asked much about it. He only just figured out a way they could all actually play ‘together’ while still in different places, and they haven’t even tested it yet. Reggie doesn’t know how to react to someone asking about them.</p><p> </p><p>Ray raises an eyebrow. “Well for someone who’s only ‘sorta’ in a band, you guys are really good,”</p><p> </p><p>Reggie’s eyebrows furrow. <em> How could he possibly know— </em></p><p> </p><p>“Sorry, uh, Julie has played your demo for us a few times,” he explains, and Reggie thinks he sees the man’s smile turn a little bit apologetic.</p><p> </p><p>Reggie just nods, keeping in mind to ask Julie about it later, and the conversation continues on for a few more minutes until Joanie drags Reggie away to help her and some of the other kids decide on a movie. By the time he finishes helping them cycle through dozens of Disney movies, ultimately deciding on the Princess and the Frog, the sun has come out from behind the clouds and a lot more people have arrived. Both Ray and his uncle are busy talking to different people, so Reggie just sighs and goes to get some food from the table.</p><p> </p><p>He’s trying to be social, but everyone else around him is already engaged in a conversation, and he doesn’t exactly know anyone well enough that he can invite himself into a discussion. So he checks his phone to find a lot of notifications from the band group chat and, once he looks around to check that his aunt isn’t lurking, he opens his phone.</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u"> <b> <em>🌅 SUNSET CURVE 🎵</em> </b> </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [puke flatterson] </em>
</p><p>yoooooo reggie r u gonna be free to practice today</p><p>alex ur free right</p><p>...guys?</p><p>why isn’t anyone answering me</p><p>Alex wtf ur dutch there’s no national holiday 4 u today</p><p>where r u guys :(((((</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [little drummer boy] </em>
</p><p>I was having dinner with my family you dingus</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [puke flatterson] </em>
</p><p>sry</p><p>wbu reg</p><p>reggie?</p><p>reggie</p><p>r e g i n a l d</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [little drummer boy] </em>
</p><p>he said he was going to a party dumbass</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [puke flatterson] </em>
</p><p>stop bullying me :/</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [little drummer boy] </em>
</p><p>im not bullying you</p><p>youre just not thinking</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [puke flatterson] </em>
</p><p>when it comes to music i think w my SOUL</p><p>u know this</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Reggie Peters] </em>
</p><p>bruh</p><p>pls stop blowing up my phone</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [puke flatterson] </em>
</p><p>oh good ur alive</p><p>thank god</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [little drummer boy] </em>
</p><p>luke youre an atheist</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [puke flatterson] </em>
</p><p>♪ just prayin to a god that i dont believe in ♪</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Reggie Peters] </em>
</p><p>the script?</p><p>wow dude you’re regressing to ur music taste from like a decade ago</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [puke flatterson] </em>
</p><p>shuddup i’m making a point</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [little drummer boy] </em>
</p><p>and your point is?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [puke flatterson] </em>
</p><p>i hate u both. ur so mean to me</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [little drummer boy] </em>
</p><p>no you don’t</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Reggie Peters] </em>
</p><p>u love us</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [puke flatterson] </em>
</p><p>yeah i do 🙄</p><p>so</p><p>how’s the party</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Reggie Peters] </em>
</p><p>I pretty much only know Julie dude</p><p>and my cousins and aunt and uncle</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [little drummer boy] </em>
</p><p>Julie sounds cool, I can’t wait to meet her</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Reggie Peters] </em>
</p><p>but like</p><p>idk where she is???</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [little drummer boy] </em>
</p><p>oof</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [puke flatterson] </em>
</p><p>big yikes</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [little drummer boy] </em>
</p><p>do what i do</p><p>hang with the kids</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Reggie Peters] </em>
</p><p>I could</p><p>they’re watching a movie</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [puke flatterson] </em>
</p><p>ooo what movie</p><p> </p><p>“Hi there,” a voice says, and his head snaps up and he rushes to put his phone away. Standing a few feet away from him is a curly-haired Latina woman with a welcoming smile and creases under her eyes. “Enjoying the party?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, it’s great! My friends were just blowing up my phone and I was just telling them to get off the group chat,” he explains quickly, hoping she won’t be offended.</p><p> </p><p>The woman just laughs and offers a handshake. Reggie switches his phone to his left hand and shoves it back into his pocket so he can reach back and shake her hand. Her hand is dry and rough and calloused and feels small and fragile in his own hand, but her handshake is still pretty strong.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m Rose Molina.”</p><p> </p><p>Oh.</p><p> </p><p>“<em> Oh </em>. You’re Julie’s mom,” he smiles. “I’m Reggie, Evelyn and Nathaniel’s nephew,”</p><p> </p><p>Rose’s eyes seem to light up a little more in recognition. “You’re Reggie? Oh, it’s so nice to meet you. Julie has told me about you.”</p><p> </p><p>“She has?” Reggie can’t help but ask.</p><p> </p><p>She tilts her head at him. “If you’re okay with chicken you should try the <em> arroz con pollo </em>,” she says instead of answering.</p><p> </p><p>He nods and scoops some onto his plate, and changes the subject. “So did you teach Julie how to play piano?”</p><p> </p><p>Mrs. Molina smiles and nods. “I taught her acoustic guitar too, but she definitely prefers piano,”</p><p> </p><p>Reggie raises his eyebrows. “Wow,” Julie has never mentioned that she knows guitar. “So does she get all her musical ability from you?”</p><p> </p><p>Mrs. Molina just laughs. “Maybe. But she got her father’s personality, so,” she shrugs.</p><p> </p><p>Reggie feels his smile grow a little.</p><p> </p><p>“Reggie, hey!”</p><p> </p><p>Someone’s hand claps over Reggie’s shoulder and he turns to see who it is.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, hey Flynn,”</p><p> </p><p>“Flynn, how are you?” asks Mrs. Molina, who pulls Flynn into a quick hug.</p><p> </p><p>“I’m good! Summer break is going great,” Flynn grins, “and all the food here is great. If you see Victoria could you tell her that her cookies taste amazing?”</p><p> </p><p>Mrs. Molina nods. “Of course,” she turns to face Reggie a little more, and asks, “so how is it, being counselors-in-training?”</p><p> </p><p>Reggie bites his lip and lets Flynn answer, instead grabbing one of the paper cups and pouring himself some of the mint watermelon juice he helped his aunt make.</p><p> </p><p>“It’s really fun, actually. Most of the kids signed up for it are super enthusiastic, and those who aren’t are still, like, having fun with their friends. It’s cool. And the counselors sometimes let me pick the warm-up music, which is awesome. The kids seem to like my music choices.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s great! Do you think they’re all ready for their performance this Friday?”</p><p> </p><p>On the last day of camp, this Friday, the parents can come in and see what their kids have been working on for three weeks. All the camp’s performing arts classes will put on short performances.</p><p> </p><p>“I think so? There are still a few kids that seem scared of dancing in front of people, but besides that they’re all on their way to killing it at the show,”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m sure they are. They were taught by you, they’ll do great,” Mrs. Molina’s gaze turns back to Reggie. “What about you, Reggie? Julie tells me you also teach the music kids.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I do. And they’re all amazing, actually,” Reggie admits, “even the ones who never played before this sound great. Every one of them has come a long way. I think two of the kids—one of the electrics and one of the bass guitars— are talking about starting a band together.”</p><p> </p><p>“Really?” Mrs. Molina raises her eyebrows, and hums thoughtfully.</p><p> </p><p>Flynn nods. “I don’t think I’ve ever actually heard you play before. Can I come by and watch sometime tomorrow?”</p><p> </p><p>Reggie nods, “yeah, sure.”</p><p> </p><p>“So what instrument do you play?” Mrs. Molina’s question draws his attention back to her.</p><p> </p><p>“I play bass guitar, mostly, and trombone for school, but my uncle taught me the banjo,” he answers.</p><p> </p><p>Flynn just raises an eyebrow and he sighs.</p><p> </p><p>“And my friend Luke taught me a little bit on electric guitar,”</p><p> </p><p>Flynn still doesn’t look satisfied. He’s still working on reading her, but he’s pretty sure that look means something like ‘<em> is that all? </em>’. He sighs again.</p><p> </p><p>“And my ex taught me a few songs on the piano,” he huffs. The tips of his ears are probably turning pink now. “Happy?”</p><p> </p><p>“Depends, is that all the instruments you know?”</p><p> </p><p>He purses his lips. “Is this like that Barbie and the Diamond Castle movie that Joanie was watching? Am I supposed to say ‘my voice’ is one of the instruments I play?”</p><p> </p><p>Flynn snorts, shrugs, and rolls her eyes. Reggie feels his shoulders relax a little now that the pseudo-interrogation is finally over. He takes a sip of his watermelon juice.</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Julie finally finds Reggie and Flynn talking to her mom a few feet away from the food table. Her mom leaves them alone to talk, saying she has a few adults she wants to say hi to. Julie gives her a smile and watches her go.</p><p> </p><p>Flynn puts her arm around Julie’s shoulder, dragging both her and Reggie over to where the kids are watching something. Julie doesn’t really pay attention to the movie though, more focused on Flynn’s arm around her shoulders and Reggie’s warmth as she leans her head on his shoulder.</p><p> </p><p>The party runs until the early evening.</p><p> </p><p>Flynn and Reggie go home for a bit, but they all end up at the same field at dusk to see the fireworks. Julie raises an eyebrow when she sees Reggie pull out earplugs.</p><p> </p><p>“Not a fan of loud noises?”</p><p> </p><p>He shakes his head, “nope,” and they leave it at that.</p><p> </p><p>The fireworks start, and it’s as bright and colorful as ever. Reggie seems a little bit in awe, and Julie grins. He mentioned he’s seen fireworks before, but Fourth of July fireworks always feel like something special. She doesn’t know why. Maybe it’s because she always has her family around her while watching.</p><p> </p><p>Then she looks back at her parents. They’re sitting on the car roof just like they do every year, her dad’s arm around her mom’s shoulders and a blanket around them both. Even from several feet away, standing with her arms around Flynn and Reggie, she can see the sparkle in her mom’s eyes as she looks up at the sky. And Julie stares up at the flashing sky and closes her eyes in the midst of the <em> boom-clap </em> celebrations, praying to God that this won’t be the last time. Praying that their family won’t be torn apart by this time next year.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> (God doesn’t listen.) </em>
</p><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><h3>♮♮♮</h3><p>
  <br/>
  <br/>
  <br/>
</p><p>Flynn doesn’t do well with being told ‘no’ sometimes.</p><p> </p><p>Usually she respects authority. Usually she’s fine following the rules, as long as they’re not discriminatory or total bullcrap.</p><p> </p><p>Julie getting dropped from the music program isn’t discriminatory but it’s <em> definitely </em> ridiculous. She’s singing again! How is that not enough reason to let her stay in the program?</p><p> </p><p>So she goes to someone she <em> knows </em> is familiar with breaking rules.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Flynn] </em>
</p><p>Hey Luke</p><p>I need some ideas on how to break rules</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [fLUKE] </em>
</p><p>oh yeah sure</p><p>what do u need help w</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Flynn] </em>
</p><p>We gotta find a way to get Julie back into the music program</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [fLUKE] </em>
</p><p>wait what</p><p>she got kicked out?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Flynn] </em>
</p><p>Yeah</p><p>Wait she didn’t tell you?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [fLUKE] </em>
</p><p>no :/</p><p>ok w/e, i’ll ask her about it another time</p><p>what can we do</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Flynn] </em>
</p><p>Idk dude I’m asking you</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [fLUKE] </em>
</p><p>ok but u go to the same school</p><p>u know how the music program works</p><p>and u know the teachers &amp; people who could advocate 4 u</p><p>or yk 4 jules</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Flynn] </em>
</p><p>Oh right um</p><p>Ok so the music teacher Ms. Harrison has been trying to keep Julie in the program for the whole year</p><p>But she already said her hands are tied</p><p>Which makes sense ig bc it’s a new school year?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [fLUKE] </em>
</p><p>and that’s y ur coming to me 4 help breaking rules?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Flynn] </em>
</p><p>Yeah pretty much</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [fLUKE] </em>
</p><p>ok i need more deets</p><p>if ur gonna break rules u gotta do it when everyone’s watching</p><p>get their attention</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Flynn] </em>
</p><p>… like all school events?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [fLUKE] </em>
</p><p>yeah exactly!</p><p>anything coming up?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Flynn] </em>
</p><p>There’s a spirit assembly tomorrow</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [fLUKE] </em>
</p><p>u mean a pep rally?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Flynn] </em>
</p><p>Spirit assembly</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [fLUKE] </em>
</p><p>if theyre hyping up for school games then its a pep rally</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Flynn] </em>
</p><p>Well they call it a spirit assembly</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [fLUKE] </em>
</p><p>that’s dumb</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Flynn] </em>
</p><p>Shut up I knowwwwww</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [fLUKE] </em>
</p><p>wait u said its tmrw?</p><p>thats not a lot of time</p><p>ok uh</p><p>hang on imma make a gc w u and the guys</p><p> </p><p>
  <span class="u"> <b> <em>[Flynn + Sunset Boys]</em> </b> </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [fLUKE] </em>
</p><p>OK YALL WEVE GOT A PROBLEM</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [the MERCER legacy] </em>
</p><p>I s2g if you’re having an allergic reaction and texting us instead of going to a hospital or finding your epipen, i’m gonna kill you</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [fLUKE] </em>
</p><p>im not</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [oREGano] </em>
</p><p>alex i hate to tell u but he’d already be dead</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [fLUKE] </em>
</p><p>and that was ONE (1) TIME</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Flynn] </em>
</p><p>I’m not even gonna ask</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [oREGano] </em>
</p><p>oh hi flynn</p><p>whats up</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Flynn] </em>
</p><p>Idk I’m still trying to figure out why Luke made a gc for this</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [fLUKE] </em>
</p><p>bc its important!</p><p>and i have an idea but i need the guys on board</p><p>its not rly gonna work w only me</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [the MERCER legacy] </em>
</p><p>what are you guys talking about</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Flynn] </em>
</p><p>What’s your idea</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [fLUKE] </em>
</p><p>ok so the soonest event is the pep rally</p><p>but u said that’s the whole school</p><p>and ik jules doesn’t rly like crowds</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Flynn] </em>
</p><p>Are you gonna try to like peer pressure me into going up on stage with her</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [the MERCER legacy] </em>
</p><p>up on stage for WHAT</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [fLUKE] </em>
</p><p>flynn can i tell them?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Flynn] </em>
</p><p>Fine</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [fLUKE] </em>
</p><p>jules lost her spot in the music program and we’re gonna help her get back in</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [the MERCER legacy] </em>
</p><p>dude what</p><p>how</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [fLUKE] </em>
</p><p>reggie’s hologram thing!</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Flynn] </em>
</p><p>Reggie’s what</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [oREGano] </em>
</p><p>hmm that could be a good idea</p><p>as a backup</p><p>flynn u gotta ask julie about whether she’ll be ok singing at the pep rally</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [fLUKE] </em>
</p><p>well obviously we gotta ask</p><p>she hasn’t played piano in like a year</p><p>she hasn’t played bright in a year</p><p>so she’s gotta practice</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Flynn] </em>
</p><p>Wait you want her to play Bright</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [fLUKE] </em>
</p><p>bright is the only song we can all do</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [oREGano] </em>
</p><p>my point wasn’t that she hasn’t practiced</p><p>my point is that this is for her</p><p>we can’t do this if she’s not comfortable doing this</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [the MERCER legacy] </em>
</p><p>^</p><p>idek the plan but i agree</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Flynn] </em>
</p><p>I’ll ask her once y’all have a plan in mind</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [oREGano] </em>
</p><p>ok luke what’s ur plan</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [fLUKE] </em>
</p><p>julie can practice bright</p><p>she can perform it at the pep rally tmrw</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [the MERCER legacy] </em>
</p><p>this isn’t a plan what</p><p>WAIT THIS IS TOMORROW?</p><p>GUYS</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [oREGano] </em>
</p><p>luke this is rly short notice </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Flynn] </em>
</p><p>Hang on Alex I wanna hear the idea</p><p>Even if it is dumb</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [fLUKE] </em>
</p><p>reggie can make sure the hologram things will work 4 all of us</p><p>flynn what time is it 4 u rn?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Flynn] </em>
</p><p>It’s almost noon</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [oREGano] </em>
</p><p>yeah dude theyre in the same timezone as me</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [fLUKE] </em>
</p><p>yeah yeah w/e</p><p>so ur still at school?</p><p>can u check how big the space is?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Flynn] </em>
</p><p>What space</p><p>Man what are you talking about</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [fLUKE] </em>
</p><p>ok is the pep rally in the gym or an auditorium or like on a field</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Flynn] </em>
</p><p>In the gym</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [fLUKE] </em>
</p><p>is there a stage in there?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Flynn] </em>
</p><p>Yup</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [fLUKE] </em>
</p><p>ok call reggie when ur done with school today</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Flynn] </em>
</p><p>Uh what</p><p>Why</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [oREGano] </em>
</p><p>yeah ok i’ll take it from here luke</p><p>flynn i might need u to get the dimensions of the stage</p><p>and the only reason i need to call u is to figure out where to project the holograms from</p><p>also i hope ur ok with coming to school early tomorrow</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [the MERCER legacy] </em>
</p><p>wait what time is the pep rally thing</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Flynn] </em>
</p><p>At like 8am tomorrow</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [the MERCER legacy] </em>
</p><p>ok so that’s like 5pm for me and luke</p><p>good to know</p><p>because y’know this is REALLY SHORT NOTICE</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [fLUKE] </em>
</p><p>well julie also lost her spot w really short notice</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Flynn] </em>
</p><p>Not true but whatever dude</p><p>Anything else I gotta do?</p><p>Y’know, besides talking to Julie, video-calling Reggie, measuring the damn stage, and going to school early tomorrow</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [the MERCER legacy] </em>
</p><p>maybe give Julie a pep talk?</p><p>and a hug?</p><p>and tell her the plan?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [oREGano] </em>
</p><p>oh ur gonna need to go to my aunt’s house to get the projector thing</p><p>and I can call u tomorrow morning to tell u how to set it up</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Flynn] </em>
</p><p>Y’all are high maintenance</p><p>But ok</p><p> </p><p>“Flynn?”</p><p> </p><p>Flynn jumps back when someone waves their hand in her face. When she looks up she sighs at  the bewildered expression on Julie’s face.</p><p> </p><p>“Damn, Jules, you scared me,” she huffs, putting her phone face down on the table.</p><p> </p><p>Julie frowns. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to. You’ve kinda just looking at your phone for the past 10 minutes and you haven’t even touched your lunch,”</p><p> </p><p>“I was texting Reggie,” she says, and uses her plastic fork to poke into one of her tater tots.</p><p> </p><p>“Oh,” Julie looks down at her tray and Flynn reaches across the table to put her hand over Julie’s.</p><p> </p><p>“Look, it sucks that they threw you out of the program. But you can still fight for your spot,” Flynn says, even as Julie stares back at her like she’s lost her mind. “You’re one of the most talented people I’ve ever met and they’d be fools to let you go.”</p><p> </p><p>“My spot is already gone, Flynn,” she shakes her head. “There is no fighting for it.”</p><p> </p><p>“That’s where you’re wrong,” Julie’s eyebrows furrow. “I was talking to Reggie and we have an idea for how you could prove to them that you deserve your place here.”</p><p> </p><p>“How did you know I told Reggie?”</p><p> </p><p>Oh. She had? Reggie hadn’t said anything in the chat that made it sound like he’d already known. Maybe he had been waiting for Julie to tell Alex and Luke herself… which makes Flynn feel a little bit guilty, because Julie should’ve been the one to tell them.</p><p> </p><p>Flynn just shrugs. “We were thinking maybe you could play at the spirit assembly tomorrow, if you’re up for it? It would get everyone’s attention, and it would be kinda hard for them to boot you out of the music program if they’ve heard how amazing you are.”</p><p> </p><p>“The spirit assembly?” Julie repeats, gaping, and her voice drops to a conspiratorial whisper. “Flynn, I can’t perform in front of the whole school!”</p><p> </p><p>“I know. It’s a lot of people. But…” she makes a face, realizing that she’s gonna have to come clean about having told Luke and Alex. “Luke had an idea for how you could perform on stage without having to be up there alone.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie’s face brightens. “Oh, would you come up there with me?” Before Flynn can respond, Julie cuts her off. “Wait, you told Luke?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I told Luke—I didn’t realize he didn’t know—and he wanted to tell the guys so that he could tell them the idea,” Flynn explains, biting the inside of her cheek. “Which, by the way, doesn’t involve me going up with you.”</p><p> </p><p>“Why did his idea mean he needed to tell the guys?”</p><p> </p><p>Flynn sighs, and proceeds to tell Julie the guys’ plan. Julie seems baffled and kind of touched that the guys would be willing to do so much for her sake.</p><p> </p><p>“But what would I even sing?” Julie asks, when it’s nearing the end of lunch and they’re disposing of any remaining trash on their lunch trays.</p><p> </p><p>“Bright,”</p><p> </p><p>Julie’s mouth opens, then closes again, and she frowns. “There are so many ways this could go wrong.”</p><p> </p><p>Flynn shrugs. “Yeah, but it’s worth trying for you,”</p><p> </p><p>Julie grins and ducks her head, and Flynn wraps one arm around Julie’s shoulders as they exit the cafeteria together.</p><p>
  <br/>
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</p><p>Once classes finish for the day, Julie texts Luke while Flynn is video calling Reggie. She’s already tried to ask Flynn if she could help with measuring the stage or any other part of the preparation for pulling off tomorrow’s hologram performance, but Flynn insists that she and Reggie will cover the tech stuff, and Julie just needs to practice the song.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Julie Molina] </em>
</p><p>Flynn told me the plan</p><p>Not sure if this is gonna work</p><p>But it’s worth a shot </p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Luke Skywalker] </em>
</p><p>ofc its worth it</p><p>u ok w the idea tho?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Julie Molina] </em>
</p><p>I mean I might get a little freaked out if it doesn’t work</p><p>Until this morning I hadn’t sung in like,,, almost 10 months?</p><p>God how has it been that long</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Luke Skywalker] </em>
</p><p>idk</p><p>lmk if u need any help w vocal warmups?</p><p>u gotta do vocal warmups btw</p><p>u have an amazing voice and u dont wanna mess that up</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Julie Molina] </em>
</p><p>Luke bro I KNOW I gotta do warmups</p><p>But I actually texted you to ask for the sheet music for Bright</p><p>Since apparently I have to relearn it in half a day</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Luke Skywalker] </em>
</p><p>oof yeah gimme a sec</p><p> </p><p>Julie looks up from her phone to glance around the gym. The volleyball team is setting up the nets for their practice in a few minutes and Flynn is still on the phone with Reggie, talking loudly as she measures the stage using a meter stick she borrowed from the math room.</p><p> </p><p>Tomorrow she’s supposed to get up on that stage and sing a song she hasn’t played or sung in over a year. The thought is more than a little bit daunting, but this might be her last chance.</p><p> </p><p>She doesn’t know how to tell the guys and Flynn how much she appreciates all of them doing this for her sake. They could have just told her ‘<em> it’s okay, you can get back in next semester </em>’ but instead they came up with this crazy idea to support her.</p><p> </p><p>The thought warms her heart and makes her hands a little bit clammy. What if they put in all this work and it’s for nothing? What if something goes wrong and she ends up on stage alone for the whole song? What if she can’t get through the whole song? What if—</p><p> </p><p>Her train of thought is knocked like a railroad switch onto another track when she feels her phone vibrate in her hand.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Luke Skywalker] </em>
</p><p>[Attachments: 5 images]</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Julie Molina] </em>
</p><p>Time to see how well I remember this</p><p>Thanks</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Luke Skywalker] </em>
</p><p>yeah ofc! :)</p><p>btw the last pic is just a selfie bc ik u miss meeeee 😜</p><p>anyway i can answer any questions u got for about another hour</p><p>then i gotta sleep</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> [Julie Molina] </em>
</p><p>Thanks Luke :)</p><p>
  <br/>
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</p><p>Julie is nervous. She’s <em> so </em> nervous. Flynn went home a few hours ago, because even though it’s the first week of school, it’s a Thursday night and that means that Flynn’s French teacher is going to be giving a quiz the next morning.</p><p> </p><p>It’s a bit past 11pm when she goes downstairs to make herself a late-night snack and gets a call from Luke.</p><p> </p><p>“Julie! Hey!”</p><p> </p><p>His smile is just as perfect while pixelated and she can’t help but smile back a little. He can make her smile even when he’s not physically with her; his positive energy is infectious.</p><p> </p><p>“Hey Luke,” She checks the time and does the math in her head, then says, “shouldn’t you be in class?”</p><p> </p><p>“No, not yet. We don’t start until September,”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, right,” she puts her phone down on the counter so she can make herself a snack like she’d been planning. She pauses. “But don’t you have work?”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t start until 8:30, it’s fine,” he assures her, then wiggles his eyebrows and gives her a goofy grin. She grins back, but he’s suddenly distracted by someone calling his name. The video starts shaking as Luke waves and walks in what Julie assumes is the direction of the person who called for him. “Sorry, I’m passing the… I can’t remember what the word is in English… eh, it’ll come to me,”</p><p> </p><p>“Don’t worry about it. I can call back in the morning,”</p><p> </p><p>Luke shakes his head vehemently. “Just a minute. Please stay on?”</p><p> </p><p>She sighs and says “fine,” but she doesn’t think he hears her answer. The screen turns toward the pavement and Julie can’t see anything but his shoes.</p><p> </p><p>“Inès! <em> Ça roule?... </em>”</p><p> </p><p>After a minute or two, the screen brightens suddenly and Julie blinks as Luke’s phone auto adjusts from very little light to capturing Luke’s face, which seems to be in the direct path of the morning sun. He’s smiling, a little bit cheekily, and a fond smile makes its way onto her face.</p><p> </p><p>“You know, sometimes I forget you speak French,” she chuckles.</p><p> </p><p>Luke’s face looks somewhat baffled. “I helped Flynn study for her French final last year and I literally live in France. <em> How </em> did you forget that I speak French?”</p><p> </p><p>“I don’t know!” He rolls his eyes. “So who was that?”</p><p> </p><p>“That was Inès, Bobby’s ex-girlfriend. I haven’t seen her much since they broke up, but she was always pretty nice and I wanted to say hi and see how she’s been,” Luke explains.</p><p> </p><p>“That’s nice of you,” Julie raises an eyebrow at him and smirks. “But why do you have that goofy grin on your face that you get after you mess with somebody?”</p><p> </p><p>Luke gapes. “Well when you say it like that I sound mean,” he scoffs. Julie just laughs and keeps spreading peanut butter onto her bread. He pouts and continues, “okay, fine. So before Inès and Bobby started dating, I came to some of her smaller house parties with Bobby because he wanted to be there but he didn’t wanna be left without anyone else he knew in case she was busy with, like, managing the party or hanging with someone else.” Julie raises an eyebrow. “Yes, Bobby is <em> that </em> type of guy at a party. Anyway,” Luke pauses, rolling his eyes as Julie breaks out into a fit of giggles for no reason at all. “ <em> Anyway </em> … even after they started dating, I kept coming to her house parties because there was this one cute guy who was always at those parties who I kinda liked flirting with,” Luke runs a hand through his hair. “And he and I made out a couple times, but then…” he brings his phone closer to his face. “But <em> then </em>, after Bobby and Inès broke up, I found out that he was Inès’s brother.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh <em> god </em>,” Julie’s eyes widen, and she goes to cover her mouth with the hand that’s not holding a peanut butter-coated knife.</p><p> </p><p>“I know, right? So Inès knows about that and—” Luke suddenly cuts himself off. “Courtyard! The word I was thinking of was <em> courtyard </em>! I was passing the school courtyard just now.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie smiles, trying not to laugh.</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry, uh, what was I saying?” Luke asks, furrowing his eyebrows.</p><p> </p><p>“Something about you and Inès’ brother?”</p><p> </p><p>“Right, right, so—” he stops again and sighs. “Wait, that’s not why I called. I called because I’m about to go on a shift and you need to go to sleep—”</p><p> </p><p>She frowns. “Luke—”</p><p> </p><p>“Nope, you <em> need </em> to sleep, no excuses! I know you’re nervous, but if you wanna rock everybody tomorrow then you gotta bring your A-game, and the only way you can bring your A-game is if you take care of yourself and sleep.”</p><p> </p><p>“I know,” she says quietly, and takes a small bite out of her peanut butter and jelly sandwich. “I just— I’m really nervous, y’know? I’m not even on stage yet and I already feel like my stomach is gonna melt into my shoes,”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s just nerves. That’s normal. You’re going to do great.”</p><p> </p><p>“What if the plan doesn’t work? What if I’m alone up there in front of everyone?”</p><p> </p><p>“You’ll be fine. I know it’s scary because it feels like a lot of people but you’re gonna rock this— with or without us,”</p><p> </p><p>Julie puts her sandwich down and sighs. “How do you know?”</p><p> </p><p>“Because you’re a star,” he says, and part of her brain relaxes a little bit when he smiles at her. “And because I believe in you.”</p><p> </p><p>She gulps down the lingering doubts in her mind. “Thanks, Luke,”</p><p> </p><p>He stops walking. “I mean it, Julie. I believe in you. You’re one of the most talented people I’ve ever met and you deserve your spot in that music program.”</p><p> </p><p>“I got kicked out, though. What does that say about me?”</p><p> </p><p>“It says that you were grieving. They shouldn’t be able to penalize you for that.” Julie looks down at the counter instead of at her phone. “Julie, look at me?” She forces herself to turn her gaze from the counter to her phone screen, and of course Luke is wearing that stupid sad face. “You know that, right?”</p><p> </p><p>She shrugs. “It’s how the program works,”</p><p> </p><p>Luke looks up and starts walking again. “It shouldn’t be. They should have made an exception for, like, extenuating circumstances or something,”</p><p> </p><p>“They <em> did </em> make an exception, Luke. For a semester and a half. They didn’t have to do that but they did,”</p><p> </p><p>“They should have given you more time,” he shakes his head. “It’s not fair,”</p><p> </p><p>“It’s how it is!” She exclaims, and takes a large bite out of her sandwich.</p><p> </p><p>Luke doesn’t say anything for a minute or two. Julie thinks about hanging up the call. She doesn’t bother. Eventually Luke stops walking, sighs, and runs a hand through his hair.</p><p> </p><p>“Okay, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t be butting into your business,”</p><p> </p><p>Julie nods. “Boundaries,” she reminds him, raising an eyebrow.</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, I know. Sorry. It’s not my place. And I’m sorry, I didn’t call you just to fight with you about your school,”</p><p> </p><p>“I know,” she says quietly.</p><p> </p><p>“But I need you to know that regardless of whether or not we can get the holograms to work tomorrow, you’re going to do amazing. If you get too freaked out by looking at the crowd, close your eyes for a second while you’re playing and pretend we’re up there with you for real, like last August.”</p><p> </p><p>She takes a deep breath. “And I’m going to have some weird earpiece in, right? So I can actually hear you guys while I’m playing, even without the speakers?”</p><p> </p><p>Luke nods. “Yeah. If you get freaked out, focus on the music.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie nods along with him. “Do you really think they’ll let me back in if I do this?”</p><p> </p><p>Luke shrugs. “I have no idea. But if getting back into music is what you want then you gotta go for it!”</p><p> </p><p>She sighs and smiles. “Thanks, Luke. Really.”</p><p> </p><p>“Of course,” he gives her one of his stupidly earnest smiles and she gives him a wobbly one back. They just stare and smile at each other for a few seconds, and then she awkwardly laughs and looks away. “Anyway, I should probably go. I’ve got work in a few minutes.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie nods. “Yeah, I should probably finish eating and go to bed.”</p><p> </p><p>“Oh, what are you eating? Are you trying to find your tainted hot dog?”</p><p> </p><p>Her eyes widen. “Dude, how can you even joke about that?”</p><p> </p><p>Luke just laughs and shrugs. “It was the tightest we’ve ever played.”</p><p> </p><p>She rolls her eyes. “Not everyone wants to almost die of food poisoning the day before a gig!”</p><p> </p><p>“I’m just kidding, Jules. You’re gonna be fine. Get some sleep.”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, yeah, and I’ll text you when I wake up,”</p><p> </p><p>“Awesome,” he grins. “Alright, see you later. Love you!”</p><p> </p><p>He hangs up before she even has to think about whether to say it back.</p><p>
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</p><p>Flynn has her arm around Julie’s shoulder the whole way to the gym. It’s a comforting weight that helps her forget about all the pressure resting on her shoulders and on this performance.</p><p> </p><p>They arrived early to set up, and Flynn calls Reggie so they can check if she set it up right. They even try out the holograms before anyone else gets there, and when they warm up Flynn says they’re all mostly in sync.</p><p> </p><p>“Reggie, you said there was a way to put on a metronome for everyone, right? So that you can all tell you’re on-beat?”</p><p> </p><p>“Nope!” hologram-Alex says immediately. “I am <em> not </em> using a metronome. No way. I’m the drummer, I set the beat, that’s my job!”</p><p> </p><p>“Alex, if the connection drops for even a second then we might not hear you, and any one of us could get off-beat,” holo-Luke reminds him. “I know you hate metronomes, but come on. It’s not like the audience will hear it.”</p><p> </p><p>“Little sacrifices,” Reggie adds, looking over at Luke. “It’s about the music.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie and Luke both smile. Julie has a feeling that Luke is grateful that he’s not the only one who cares about the integrity of his song during this performance.</p><p> </p><p>Alex shakes his head. “Fine,” then pauses and looks around. “I don’t even know how you came up with this, Reg,”</p><p> </p><p>Reggie shrugs and ducks his head.</p><p> </p><p>It’s a little weird hearing them in her ear even though Julie can see them right in front of her. It looks like they’re actually here, real enough to reach out and touch. She’s not sure how Reggie came up with this or how they’re pulling it off right now, but she hopes that their wifi is working well enough in half an hour that this can work.</p><p> </p><p>“Wait, so how do Luke and Reggie know they won’t look like they’re walking through Alex, or like they’re walking through each other?”</p><p> </p><p>“Because the holograms appear on our side too,” Reggie explains. “Oh, wait, Flynn—can you get off the stage so you’re in the front of where the audience would be?”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, sure,” Flynn says into her headset—well, it’s part of the stuff she picked up from Reggie’s aunt’s house—as she walks outside the range of the devices she’s set up on the stage. She moves so that she’s right in front of the stage, looking up. “Okay, why did you want me to stand here?”</p><p> </p><p>“I wanna wink at someone in the front row. I need to mark the spot I’m looking at on my wall before we start,”</p><p> </p><p>“Yeah, that’s how Reggie and I share a mic— we gotta set up our mic stands in the same spot,” Luke adds with a shrug. “I don’t know how it works, I just do what Reggie says,”</p><p> </p><p>Julie’s eyebrows furrow, a little confused, and she opens her mouth to say something and then stops. If Reggie and the guys are doing all this work then they might as well have some fun with it.</p><p> </p><p>They practice it two more times with the metronome ticking in their ears.</p><p> </p><p>“That sounded great,” Flynn tells them all. The guys grin in response.</p><p> </p><p>Julie checks the time on her phone. “Okay, we’ve got about half an hour until the assembly starts, so we’ve only got a few minutes until people start coming in. We’re gonna turn it off for now, okay?”</p><p> </p><p>They all nod.</p><p> </p><p>“See you on the other side,” Luke says into his mic, and then they disappear from the stage.</p><p>
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</p><p>Even with all the guys encouraging her in her ear, it’s Flynn who finally pushes Julie to get on the stage.</p><p> </p><p>“Now’s your chance,” Flynn nudges Julie with her elbow and grins. “You’ve got this, girl. See you in music class!”</p><p> </p><p>Julie’s still more than a little thrown off by the show-stopping performance put on by Carrie and the rest of Dirty Candi. She sits at the keyboard and starts playing, then stops when the metronome starts in her ear and she realizes she’s completely off-beat. Her fingers spasm and she stops herself abruptly, hitting a wrong chord.</p><p> </p><p>She has to force herself to stop and breathe instead of starting again. Her stomach is tied up into a thousand knots and her brain is running a mile a minute. She needs to <em> breathe </em>.</p><p> </p><p>She ignores the metronome ticking in her ear and breathes in and out.</p><p> </p><p>“You’ve got this,” Luke repeats in her ear.</p><p> </p><p>Julie looks up and sees Flynn giving her a thumbs up from in the stands, now wearing her headset.</p><p> </p><p>She starts playing again from the beginning. The lights come up as she starts to sing but the guys don’t come on, and instead of shutting her eyes and panicking she stares out at the crowd that’s filing out of the gym. Some don’t give her a second glance. Those are the ones whose attention she tells herself she needs to get.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “I’m calling out / for one more try / to feel alive.” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Her eyes catch on Ms. Harrison and Principal Lessa, talking to each other and looking at her from the center of the crowd, and she smiles. She has their attention now.</p><p> </p><p>Her eyes follow Flynn as she runs over to backstage, where the kid from AV club is messing with the lighting consul and switchboard, and pushes him out of the way.</p><p> </p><p>She sings a little louder now and focuses on the music. She focuses on the keyboard under her hands and the words she’s singing.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em> “Together I think that we can make it / Come on, let’s run,” </em>
</p><p> </p><p>She’s smiling triumphantly even before the chorus starts and the guys appear around her on stage, because even if the holograms hadn’t worked, even if she didn’t get back into the program with this performance, she’s already won. She’s won for herself, because she’s reminded herself that she <em> can </em>. She can do this.</p><p> </p><p>But having the guys beside her definitely catches people’s attention even more and it makes her feel much more confident on stage. Singing with them feels familiar, even after a year, even though they’re not physically there with her. Jamming with Reggie and facing Alex while Luke sings the second verse is familiar. Sharing the mic with Luke during the bridge, though she has to stay close enough to his mic for it to pick up the sound on <em> his </em> side, is familiar.</p><p> </p><p>She’s pretty sure she kind of jumps through Reggie at the start of the second chorus. And she definitely walks through Luke at the end of the bridge.</p><p> </p><p>But it works. They’ve got everyone’s attention.</p><p> </p><p>And then they all bow, and when she stands back up she hears gasps. She tells herself not to turn and look. The key part of a magic act is pretending you were expecting the results you get.</p><p> </p><p>“Sorry, Julie, I asked Flynn to disconnect us once we were done. I gotta go,” Reggie apologizes, and she reminds herself to text him later to thank him for everything.</p><p> </p><p>So she’s left alone on stage facing a crowd of peers, some amazed and some bewildered, wearing a smile she hopes looks confident.</p><p> </p><p>Then the freaking AV club kid runs onto the stage. “Hey, where’d the rest of the band go?”</p><p> </p><p>Flynn runs onto the stage too, walking past the kid from the AV club so she can stand beside Julie. But before either of them can respond, Kayla cuts in with an excited tone, asking, “Wait, were those holograms?”</p><p> </p><p>Julie just has to nod. “Yeah, actually. They were holograms. I’d explain it, but our bassist, Reggie, was actually the one who figured it all out, so…”</p><p> </p><p>The students applaud and Principal Lessa calls for everyone to get to class. Flynn and Julie stay on the stage, and Flynn is by her side when Julie gets her spot back.</p><p> </p><p>The first thing she does after thanking Principal Lessa is hug Flynn.</p><p> </p><p>“You did it,” Flynn says quietly.</p><p> </p><p>“Thanks to you,” Julie shakes her head a little. “<em> We </em> did it. I couldn’t have done this without you.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie pulls away from the hug to look at Flynn, who’s tried to give her a reason to smile even on the days she wanted to push the world away. Flynn, who’s stood by her through this terrible storm for nearly a year. Flynn, who’s never given up on her even on the days when Julie wouldn’t talk at all to anyone.</p><p> </p><p>“Thank you, Flynn. For everything. There’s no way I would’ve made it through this year if it wasn’t for you.”</p><p> </p><p>Flynn pulls her into another hug. “You would’ve.”</p><p> </p><p>Flynn thumbs circles into the back of Julie’s neck and Julie starts tearing up. She sniffles into Flynn’s leopard-print pink shirt.</p><p> </p><p>“You got music back. You got your spot back. You’re gonna be fine,” Flynn reassures her. “We’re gonna be okay.”</p><p> </p><p>Julie mumbles. “Yeah. It’s all over,”</p><p> </p><p>Flynn hugs Julie’s waist a little tighter.</p><p> </p><p>But it’s far from over. It’s a new beginning.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Thanks for reading! All comments are appreciated.</p><p>You can find me on tumblr @/heartsick-stranger</p></blockquote></div></div>
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